Hope on the Street

Decisions can make you into a hero or a victim and can have consequences that last for moments or a lifetime!

Someone told me recently the true story of his great-grandfather, living before the First World War. He was a sea pilot and helped ships navigate along the Kent coast into the port of London. One day a couple came to him, a young man very keen to show off his new boat to a young lady friend. The pilot advised them strongly not to set sail as the weather looked to be blowing a gail and that part of the coast was treachorous because of the Goodwin Sands, a notorious stretch of sand that had been the cause of many shipwrecks. The young man would not listen and set sail. Some hours later the pilot saw in the distance the boat in trouble and made the decision to attempt a rescue. Neither boat or the souls on board were ever seen again.

What is the quality of your decisions? Have you thought about the consequences for your work, career, relationships and health?

Looking back I can see I have made some very poor decisions. I remember leaving school and taking a job as a technician against advice. My teacher at the time said how surprised she was that I was going into that sort of work as my strength was English subjects not technical. Would I listen? I did not last in that job for long and then I tried becoming a trainee accountant against friends advice with similar failure. The problem was I did not know myself and my teacher and friends knew me better. So the first point in making good decisions is to become self aware, and it really helps if you can get a trusted friend to advise you. I also find I get deep insight into the person I truely am and can become through reading the Bible.

If youare serious about making a decision then some knowledge of Gerard Egan’s three stages. Egan is very popular in the coaching, training and counselling world. In a nutshell there are three stages to help someone:
1) Tell the Story- where are you now, stand back and look at your situation. Look for the blind spots in your thinking and motivation for change.
2)What are the Possibilities? What is stopping you changing? Is it fear, lack of confidence, faulty thinking etc?
3)Action Strategy. What possible actions are open to you and which is the best fit for you and your situation? Have a plan to go forward. Dream your dream.

Jesus tells many stories that can help. Here are two of his parables. Jesus said suppose one of you wants to build a tower, will you first sit down and estimate the cost to see if enough money is available to complete? For if he lays the foundation and cannot complete the tower everyone will ridicle him. It is therefore important to remember to count the cost of any decision that we make.

Jesus also tells the story about a banquet,where a king sends out invitations to many guests but everyone is too busy to come. One person is busy with his business (he bought a field), another is busy because he has the equivalent of a new car or something for work, another is involved with a relationship. The point being that we must get our priorities right. This is an area where we so often get it wrong, putting all sort of things and activities before important relationships, especially our relationship with our God.

A book that has some helpful insights is Paul McGee’s book, SUMO. SUMO stands for ‘Shut up, Move on’. Shut Up is about moving on from wrong patterns of thinking, negative or unproductive thought habits. McGee says imagine walking through a field of long grass, as we walk through we make a path through the grass which takes effort and care. Every time go through the field again we will follow the same path over and over again, as to make a new path will take a lot more effort. This is the same with life and how we behave in our relationships, how we behave, handle finances and look after ourselves.

So we need a new start that says ‘shut up’ to the old way of living. This is so similar to what Jesus is tryig to get us to do when he say we need to be born again or a new creation.

The ‘move on’ part of SUMO relates to the motivation necessary to break free from the old life and follow through with the decision we want to make. What stops our motivation is a cant be bothered attitude. Being honest about that is important, looking to what we will gain if we follow through with our decision and not looking at the negatives.

It is also very important to have someone who believes in you, someone can be unconditional with support, someone to cheer you on from the stands. Jesus made a decision and choose 12 people who would be his followers and he offered them his full support and believed in them, in what they could become. Some of them responded so well to that belief. God wants us to know he believes in us in the same way and that is where faith can really help us in following through on the decisions we need to make, especially the difficult ones.

One of the 12 people Jesus chose turned out very badly and betrayed him. What can we learn from this? Well one point to consider when making decisions, when people are involved, is that sometimes the ones we trust will let us down badly. We can blame ourselves when this happens and lose our ability to trust and make good decisions again. I was talking to an elderly lady some weeks ago and she said that she had been let down by a close friend over 30 years ago and now she can’t mix or trust people. That was 30 years ago but all her decisions about joining group or going out is governed by a decision she made 30 years ago to trust someone!

Finally, it can be useful to write out the pros and cons, strengths and weaknesses when making a decision. To look at the impact the decision will have on your family, close friends, circumstances and finances. What issues and feelings are blocking your decisions plans, what is stopping change. What will the world look like if you could wake up tomorrow and the decision had been made?

As a Christian I would think about how this decision fits into God’s plan for my life. This will ensure that the decision fits with my values and ethical stand so I will not regret the decision in the future.