Shame

Shame is something we can all experience, no matter who we are. In the Lancet* there’s the true account of a hospital doctor who’s mistake nearly killed her patient. This happened in front of the student she was training. More senior staff had to be called in to help, and humiliation set in as she was questioned in front of her intern.  She said, “I could almost feel myself dying away on the spot”. Have you ever felt like you wanted to disappear, to escape anywhere, to get away from that horrific moment of shame?  Even many years after the bad experience the memory of the moment of shame can still seem as vivid as ever. The feelings of shame, and the resultant loss of self-esteem will not release their grip.

It is also possible to feel shame by association. When I was a child, my mother became the topic of gossip in the village I lived in. I remember how I felt when other children said things about my home life. A mixture of anger, hurt and powerlessness. Shame covers a lot of emotions and body sensations. All of which can become trapped in us, a hidden history- recorded in our hearts, like when a tree is cut down its rings are exposed showing all that happened during its life.

I remember times when I felt so alone. I thought no one else could help or understand. Have you ever felt the same? If so, don’t give up hope. Jesus understands because he’s been through ridicule, rejection, and public humiliation.

An example of the kindness and acceptance Jesus showed is found in John, chapter 4. Jesus met an unhappy woman who’d had five failed marriages. An outcast in her community she could only draw water from the public well when no one else was around to avoid the comments, the whispers, and the condemning looks.

Shame condemns us as guilty and deficient. Knowing God cares whatever others say can help enormously. Jesus promises ‘life in all its fullness’, so why not turn to him. For Christian counselling www.acc-uk.org

*https://www.thelancet.com/journals/lancet/article/PIIS0140-6736(18)30897-3/fulltext