How do you react when someone attacks you verbally? Do you fight back, go silent or flee? Perhaps it is an insult during a heated discussion, you overhear an old acquaintance with a past grudge bad mouthing you, or someone for no apparent reason begins ranting against you. Facing an aggressive person in situations like this can be a difficult and unsettling. Here are some tips to help:

1.    Remain calm­, pause, get perspective. When threatened the body activates the fight or fight response. This makes thinking difficult. To avoid this, speak slowly, breathe deeply, and try to stay rational and see both sides of what is being said.

2.    Do not return abuse for abuse. It's easy to become defensive and throw stones back at the one throwing stones. If you do it will escalate the problem and is not a solution. The Bible states "If someone has done you wrong do not repay him with a wrong" (Rom. 12:17).

3.    Don’t let others undermined you. Find your identity in Jesus, not in what others think. If you remember Jesus loves you and gave his life on the cross for you, it will help you remain strong inwardly no matter what faults others find in you.

4.    It is not personal. Angry people often take out their problems on others. You become their release valve.

Hurting people often hurt others through their hurtful words and this can include the ones closest to them. Sometimes it's because they know you love them so much that you will accept their berating. They may say they love you, but their behaviour shows otherwise. What is real love? Here’s the best definition: “love cares more for others than for self…doesn’t force itself on others…doesn’t fly off the handle (1 Corinthians 13:4-5, The Bible).